Actually, this is no one's idea of the best of Ubud. There is an annoying, virtually endless parade of people calling out 'Taxi?' when you walk around town. They aren't persistent, but there are so many of them, it feels that way. Even the taxi drivers are sick of parroting the same word all day, so they make signs to hold up, the more creative with a reverse for when you say, 'No.' I heard of a traveler who made a sign saying 'No thank you' that she would show the taxi drivers when they held up their sign. When the taxi guy reversed his sign, 'Perhaps tomorrow?' she would reverse her sign, which said, 'Not tomorrow either'. Genius! Imagine everyone walking around with a dozen signs of questions and answers that we use to communicate with each other.

     A coconut carved in the shape of a cat!

     This is an relaxing place to get away from the congestion of central Ubud and hang out by the rice fields, Sari Organik. It's only one kilometer from the market but feels far removed. Any restaurant with the words 'organic' or 'vegetarian' will have a ratio of nearly 10 women to 1 man. It's smart to appeal to women in Ubud. They are more loyal than men.

     My favorite low-end restaurant in Ubud is Puteri Minang on Jalan Raya Ubud 77 around the corner from the post office. It's western Sumatra food which is so omnipresent that it has come to be what people would call Indonesian food. I usually pay between 15,000-18,000 rupiah (just under $2) for a meal. The same owner is still manning the cash register, still making the same bad jokes ('The total is 15,000---euros!') My other go-to option used to be a fish satay guy farther down the street, but standards have dropped, I am devastated to report.

     Tempeh bacem, which Wikipedia helpfully describes as 'tempeh boiled with spices and palm sugar, and then fried for a few minutes to enhance the taste. The result is damp, spicy, sweet and dark-colored tempeh.'

     In Ubud this is a very typical $10 a night room in a family compound. I'm at Wayan 2 Homestay off Jalan Hanoman where there are only three guest rooms. The intricate wood and stone carvings almost make me feel guilty I don't pay more. Almost. A very loud caged bird wakes me up every morning at 6:30, but it's the price to pay for paradise, some would say. I'm not one of them. I alarm the sweet little girl working here by offering to pay her to fry the bird for me.